Saturday 29 September 2012

Interesting reading.

So I just figured out how to see how people are finding my blog online...and wow the results are a tad scary like someone found me by googling "sex in farmers" and another came via stopa cheater.com....must keep my eye on my stats a bit closer, if only for sheer entertainment.

So what has been going on with me?  Not a whole lot to be honest, well not a whole lot that I am wanting to share with the individuals looking at my blog by googling "sex in farmers". Our housing sitch remains the same, living with Mom and saving for a house, we have found loads of houses we would buy tomorrow but we are waiting and doing this the right way so Roy and I both can be  brought down financially should we fail at homeownership.  It looks like we only have about another 2 months to wait and then the ball can roll forward again.

Work is terrifying, I can't say a whole lot on the subject.  I am just really finding it difficult to enter in a system the times I get up to go pee, it just happens, I drink a lot and in turn that produces urine, which for the comfort of my co-workers and for myself I would like to go relieve myself in the bathroom...well I can go to the bathroom, I just have to let big brother know.  I am also struggling with only 1/2 hour lunches, I feel like I run down to the cafeteria throw the food at my face and whatever gets in my mouth is my lunch for the day before I have to return back to my desk.  PLEASE don't read this as my ungratefullness of having a job, I am just finding it hard to get used to.  I also feel like I am in one of those naked dreams, where I am running around in a constant state of paranoia and others are just plodding on without a care in the world....I feel like I have to stop people and say "hey I am freaking out...why aren't you?"...you know like in the naked dream where you have to tell people you are naked.  I know I will probably get used to it and all that good stuff but 6 weeks of being afraid that I will get zapped by big brother watching me makes me really tired when I get home, and OH SOOO thankful for the furry babies that just want me for walking/ball throwing/feeding/snuggling duties.

Roy and I celebrate 6 years of wedded bliss tomorrow, which makes today the day of dread.  I am handeling year 6 a lot differently then I have handeled previous years.  I actually cried today, not just reminiced and was sad, but cried like a unstoppable sob cry (of course when no one was looking), I would like to say that I am strong and I hide this from Roy, but I am not that girl, I am sad and he needs to know that I am there with him in his sadness.  I miss his mother, I didn't know her long but she was MAGICAL...I can't even describe it.  She just had a way about her that I haven't seen in anyone since, and I know some BRILLIANT people.  I miss her today, I was angry with her for at least 3 years...but today I miss her.  I wonder if she would be proud of us for how our marriage has lasted and been strong.  I wonder if she would be bitter about us moving or if she would have encouraged us to go get the things we want out of life.  Roy thinks she would have kicked us out of the house sooner, not in the get-out-of-my-house-spongers kind of way but more of a ...it is time for the birdies to fly and get out of the nest type of way...which I would have appreciated.

I think my sadness is also linked to me missing my UK life, I miss my friends and my old job (as stressful as it was).  I miss the simplicity of life there.  However I do not miss a lot of things about it there either, I don't miss the feral children, and paying for fricking everything, the lack of community spirit and the HUUUUUGGGGEEE gap between the classes.  I would move back I think, although Roy says no and he is finally happy where we are...he is right...when I lived there I wanted to be here and when I am here I want to be there...it is a cross I will have to carry.

Anywho, I am off to eat my salad and maybe fold some laundry...then it is a financial pow-wow to figure out how I am gonna be a farmers wife.




Saturday 8 September 2012

Getting back to the basics.

The blogging has fallen by the waysid=\ze I know, I am just settling into working life again, and trying to get a rythm with my schedule, Roy's schedule and my furry babies schedules.  I am enjoying each step along the way.  I  have so much to write about but I know by the time I have written this I won't even of discussed half of it, but here goes.

So work is going well, I had worried about being just a number in the huge corporation in which I work for, and I guess to some deparments I am, but I have managed to find a core group of ladies that I am having a great time getting to know.   The work is challening and interesting and I am enjoying the learning process (kinda) but at the same time I am VERY nervous about the time when training is over and I am let loose to do the job I will have trained for 4 weeks to do.  My trainer and work friends say that I am going to do fine, but I am just not the confident, I know eventually I will get there and it will all be old hat and familiar but I am nervous for the time that it will be new, scary, and I will annoy my supervisor with my billion questions.

I have signed up with my Mom to teach 5th and 6th grade Sunday school.  The clip board has been passed around church a few times asking for volunteers, and it has weighed on my heart to get more involved in making our church a success.  I talked to Mom about it because I am a little worried that these 5th and 6th graders won't learn from me or that they will see right through my facade because my big sercret is that they prob do know more then me and we will be learning together.   Mom said she would help and we would do teach and it wouldn't be such a burden,  I just hope I do a good job. I start in December so have till then to get myself prepared.

Hmm what else....I am trying to get myself back to losing weight...I know I know broken record and all, but I am taking it in slow steps.  I am just trying to be more conscious about what I am putting in my body and trying to make better decisions, but I do need those times when I can just eat some pizza.  Taking the dogs out all the time, and going different places with them, and letting them run their pent up energy out has also afforded me the luxury of allowing me to get some exercise in and enjoying it.  I don't want to scarifice time with my "family" to go to a gym and do something I hate, when I can come home and be with the people/dogs I love most in my life and get all of us out and moving.

Now back to the good stuff, Roy and I have started to look for a house, if the mortgage advisor has given us correct information Roy and I have only 3 months to wait until we are pre-approved for a mortgage.  I know where I want to be in terms of price wise, but until we get that official piece of paperwork we are drawing up a list of the things we want in a house/property.  Although I would love to, I think that building is out of our budget, so we are looking for an established home (I think).  We have been scouring the internet for what is on the market at the moment and have driven by and up to a few houses, last Sunday we actually drove up to a property that is high on our list and the owner was so kind and showed us around.  I am excited about being this close to being a homeowner and also frustrated that I am not already a homeowner.  Roy and I have been going into local consignment shops, thrift stores, antique furniture, flea markets, yard sales, and local boutiques to see what is out there in terms of furnishing our house.  I am THOROUGHLY enjoying this process, it is true what they say one mans junk is another mans treasure (it might just need a little spray paint...HA HA).  We have also been taking "research trips" to Lowes and Home Depot, which Roy and I very much enjoy and thankfully we are both pretty much on the same wave length in terms of what we like, we can pretty much find a happy medium when doing out fantasy house stuff shopping.

Well I am off out with my sexy hubby to take our furry babies on a hike!

God Bless all who read this.

Kristen