Best you git to know me better!

I thought all day about what my next post would be, I toyed with a few ideas but as if I was crumpling up the paper and throwing it in the bin none of my ideas seemed that great...so I guess this will be the getting to know me section. Although most of you reading this already know plently about me, of course I can't possibly tell  you EVERYTHING about me...I can provide a small speck of  insight.

I grew up pretty happy, I have great parents who decided that although the couldn't love or live with each other they could still love my brother and I the best they could...of course they made mistakes but don't we all?

My school years were pretty unremarkable, I wasn't a bad student but I wasn't a great student I happily existed pretty much right in the middle, ok maybe towards the higher grades of the middle but def not anywhere close to a smarty.  I didn't really know what I wanted to do when I was in high school, I thought I might be a vet but went to shadow a vet for a day and watched her put an old, black poodle to sleep and knew that this wasn't the career for me.  I decided that maybe my personality lended itself more towards the media (ha)....I started in college radio while I was still in high school picking up an on-air gig on Susquehanna University Radio...man I thought I hit the big time, and when they asked to me back 2 years in a row I knew where I belonged (or at least something I could do that I wouldn't totally hate).  So I went off to the first University that would take me ....HELLO  Shipp!

This is where it all goes hazy, ok I did drink in college, I prob drank a lot more than I should have.....but can I be honest here?...I don't remember a whole lot about college.  I remember some friends, and I remember some people, but if I went back for homecoming weekend I would feel like a stranger.  I don't know why my college memories are only in little block memories but this is what it is.  I loved this time in life and I feel a little cheated I can't remember most of it.

After college I remember sort of drifting between living with my Dad, and various friends that thought we could co-exist together and in the end we realized that we are a lot more different or annoying than either of us let on.  This drifiting that I was doing during this time lead down the path to a few evil people who would change my life forever (maybe more about that later).  I also wanted more than anything to meet a man and settle down and have a "normal" life, whatever the heck that is.  All my friends were doing it, I swear all my closest friends got married in a span of 6 months so I was always the third wheel, or the fixer upper...ugh.

It would take one of the worst events in my life to take place to lead me to the man I would fall madly in love with and marry.  I don't really want to go into the whole story tonight but I will say, I met Roy online in August 2005, he came to visit me in the US in December 2005 and within four days of the physical meeting we were engaged and planning a wedding....WHHHAAAA  I was 25 and invincible and had a man that ticked all my boxes and had a hot English accent to just put the cherry on top.  This man totally changed my view of love and marriage and still continues to astonish me with this unconditional love and affection.

So anyway I got married at 25, and moved to the UK.  Lots of people thought I was crazy at the time and maybe I was.  I was stepping into a life I knew nothing about.  I hold the belief that a lot of people think I made this decision to move to hurt everyone, or to attract attention to myself.  Well I can say it was a selfish decision but I literally only moved to be with my husband, not hurt anyone or one up anyone..that's the truth.

So 5 years later I am 30 about to turn 31 and I still have identity and body isssues, I don't know what I want to be exactly when I grow up, or if I want to grow up. I want to be a farmers wife, yes, but I also want my career to take off, I want to grow closer to the Lord (by the way if you don't want to read my "religous" talk there is a red X in the corner you can hit), I want to be a better wife, a better doggy Mom, 7 stone lighter, I want to own a cherry red Jeep Wrangler, I want to go to Las Vegas at least once, I want to conquer my fear of flying, I want to own lots-o-animals, I want to grow my own veg, learn to can, learn to sew, own my own home....and man so much more.  I love a good fart joke.  Pizza Hut is prob my fav restuarant.  I love my dog more than someone should love their dog, and I talk about him all the time.  My Mom is closer to me than any friends and I tell her everything.  My music tastes are so varied that I can't even begin to define them here. I have trouble driving ugly cars. I am a typical, loud, fat (no really I am) American.  I have finally come to love my curly hair, and if I have an extra 5 mins to hand I am either watching crap-rot-your-brain tv or napping....this is just the little bit about me...hope ya like it.

And so it begins

I have often thought about starting a blog, and I have thought of loads of things to write, sometimes its witty, sometimes funny but mostly just about me.  I have loads going on in my head and I think a lot of it might shock you or not, but basically I just need to get it out before it eats me up.  I am not who I pretend to be, don't worry this won't take an Emo turn, I won't start writing about how my black hearts beats on steel razor blades or anything but sometimes what my mouth says is not what my brain is thinking.

I guess my first revelation is tonight is that I am a road-rage-aholic, nothing gets me a-cussing and a-swearing like a stupid driver or a high beam to the eyes.  Just tonight you could find me rolling down the street in Hemmingstone screaming at an idiotic BMW driver who couldn't wait the 3 secs it took me to get to a point in the road where he/she could pass me without any hassle...ooooohhhhh noooo they had to make me back up even though I had further to travel backwards then they had to wait to me to get to that point in to road...I wound down my window and yelled something like "Where the frick did you want me to go?"  and I am sure a gesture followed that up, but in the dark it was hardly effective.   So that is my usual routine, I scream at stupid drivers in the morning and evening.

So do you wanna know why I named my blog I want to be a farmers wife??  Well because I do want to be a farmers wife, I want to live off the land and the animals I raise and grow.  I am seriously addicted to animals and could quite happily be an animal hoarder if not closely watched.  So I thought maybe starting a blog about how I intend to be a farmers wife, and all the other crazy ideas I think up and try to undertake would saitate me and maybe calm the crazy down in my head.

For now I just dream and scheme about waking up on my small farm, with my husband and 8 (maybe 20) dogs and letting the horses and cattle out to run.  As for now I feed my one overweight miniature schanauzer and wish it was more, and I drive to my office job while thinking about growing my own veg, canning it, and feeding my family (of 2.5 people, myself included) come whatever the ecomnomic climate...this is my life's ambition...as well as having fun along the way.