Yes yes I know I haven't blogged in awhile, and I have had some major changes going on. We have finally made the big move to the US of A. Yep we are here. People keep asking I am glad to be here, the only they I can say is "yes and no" I am excited to be here and to finally be getting on with our lives, however I miss the comfort of my friends and steady income in the UK, please don't misunderstand I have plenty of friends in the US but I also have plenty of friends in the UK and I miss them terribly. I also miss having my own car, and a million other things (double deckers...ha ha..not the buses the candy bar).
We have been super busy since arriving and that is good for me, I need to keep moving or I will shut down and stop moving altogether and that is bad.
The weeks before we moved over were filled with anxiety of getting rid of the cars, and gettting packed, and getting the dog to the airport....it was VERY stressful and I might have turned on Roy a few times when it really wasn't his fault. The goodbye with fonster-in-law was un-emotional which was expected but on the same not disappointing, Roy got a handshake and a "good luck with your life" and I got a kiss on the cheek and a "safe travels" message. Dillinger on the other hand got a good fussing but didn't pay attention as he wanted to get in the car and was too worried about being left behind. I don't know, what sort of goodbye I wanted, but I was disappointed with the one we got.
The night before we flew we rented a Travelodge hotel room, I know we only paid £19 for it, and I also know that they aren't known for their 5 star rating...but SHEESH...disgusting with a capital "D". I won't go into the nitty gritty of the disgustingness of this chain of hotels but if someone didn't wipe their backside with our sheets, then I can't tell you what was on that sheet...BLECH!! It was a nightmare, it was hot, the traffic was loud, Dillinger barked or growled everytime someone opened/shut/slammed their door. I was in hell, I was stressed about the flight, the dog, finding our way to everywhere we needed to be and I just couldn't sleep. I was also thinking "Are we moving because of me?, Am I uprooting everyone because of something I want?"....it's a lot of stress and I didn't deal well with it. We also met up with one of Roy's cousins to give her some pictures of the family and they had such a great time reminincing that I felt mega guilty for making us all move. So let's just say I didn't feel good about everything that was happening.
However, it all worked out, we found the places we needed to go, I cried a lot when they took Dill away to get loaded on the lane (yes I know I would see him again, but the look he gave me was a look I shan't forget anytime soon, it was a "what they heck did I do wrong?" look). We boarded the plane, the flight went great, immigration was a breeze, customs was a pain but we got through it. All in all that Tuesday wasn't the nightmare I was anticipating it to be.
Wednesday was a new day, we got up at like 5.30am just not able to sleep much longer , took Dill on a walk and started working on the pool just to occupy ourselves. We are living with my Mother, she works alot and needs some help getting the house sorted...I think we both thought it would all be done in a day and when we started on it realized that it might be an all summer project...overwhelmed isn't the word to describe how we felt...but we have been working on it when we can and it is really coming along.
Roy and I also started some part time jobs, we are working for great local family that run a bed and breakfast on a farm type dealy. Roy cooks for the guests when he is required to do so, and I have been doing everything from answering phones to cleaning the cabins. We have really enjoyed overselves helping out and we have made some good friends in the process. Roy has been learning a lot about farming and PA butchery which is a huge, huge blessing and I can tell they really like his company, and he likes theirs. I have been looking for a job, found a few that were interesting and I have an interview on June 11th about a position...hoping this works out so we can get cell phones and a reliable car. Roy is waiting on his Social Security card to come through so he can apply but is keeping up with what is out there and is poised and ready to strike when he has that all important number.
We have also been house hunting, and horse hunting which is all great fun because at the moment money is no object...welcome to the world of fantasy shopping...woo hoo!!
So we have been good, getting there slowly (well not really it hasn't even two weeks). Keep us in your prayers! I am one step closer to being a farmers wife...woo hoo!! However starting your life over is hard, and it takes awhile, and it take patience, and I don't have very much patience but I am learning very slowly that I need to be patient.
Thursday 31 May 2012
Saturday 5 May 2012
Second, third and fourth thoughts?
So here I am a little under 3 weeks until we move to the US...am I having second thoughts? I sure as hell am...will I decide that I am not gonna move back...no. Moving back to the US has been a dream we have talked about pretty much since we got married, it might not be the best time financially but we need to make this move to move on and up. I am scared as hell and I used to live there for 25 years, why at 31 am I soo scared to move back to a place I know and love? I don't know, I think it is my fear of failure in hyper drive...I don't remember being so scared at 25 to up sticks and move here, but then all I wanted was to be with Roy, I would have lived in a third world country to lay beside him every night and be his wife..and I still would.
I think nothing has been harder then to leave my jobs. My part time job was working for Home Instead as a carer, I had been there almost 2 years and had grown very close to some of my elderly lovelies. I know in that kind of work you shouldn't really get emotionally involved because you know one way or another you might not be caring for your clients for very long, however I can't NOT become involved and I can NOT not care about them. I didn't cry when I said goodbye to them, but I did feel guilty.
My full time job might be a lot harder. I found it quite hard to want to or even attempt to handover the reigns this week. When my replacement was announced, all I can say was that my reaction was less then excited. I think it was then that I realized this was really happening, and I became jealous...this new girl was gonna be the new me...what if she does a better job? What if my co-workers like her more? What if they realize I was really crappy at my job?..I can't explain it but it really tore me apart inside. I have a friend that does that same job I do, she actually helped trained me when I first went into this business and she described our job as "a job that any monkey can do"...which really irked me, I work damn hard at what I do and I am passionate and to describe it likes that ....well you might as well punch me square in the face. I do care about the sort of work I do, and I try to be the best at what I do...needless to say this didn't help. However I got to thinking, first days are hard enough, we all hate them and I would never want to start a job where I thought people disliked me. So I made a pact with myself and the new girl (although she didn't know) that I would do the very best for her, welcome her into my team and train her to the best standard I can do. You know that "treat others as you would like to be treated"...I belive in that, and my 31 year old heart is dedicated to that. Rock on!
However all this new work optimism has not translated into my personal life. I still feel in desperate need of a pep talk. I have been doing some job hunting on the internet and all it seems to show me is how niche my job is and how a lot of things don't "fit" for me. I can be anybodys secretary, I can be an administrative assitant until I am old and gray...but I don't want to be someone secretary, I want to be someone's boss. I know it sounds snobbish and maybe a little selfish but I am at a point in my career where I am afraid if I step down to a lesser position it is gonna be that much harder to make the larger step up to where I want to be. This might be an unfounded fear and who knows maybe when I get to the US I will find a job straight off that I love, but this is my current state of mind. I think Roy will find a job
I will end tonight with a final thought love it a wonderful thing and so is dog ownership...the 2 things that are keeping me smiling and keeping me sane and moving foward are these two.
much faster then I will...either way we need to find jobs ASAP!
I think nothing has been harder then to leave my jobs. My part time job was working for Home Instead as a carer, I had been there almost 2 years and had grown very close to some of my elderly lovelies. I know in that kind of work you shouldn't really get emotionally involved because you know one way or another you might not be caring for your clients for very long, however I can't NOT become involved and I can NOT not care about them. I didn't cry when I said goodbye to them, but I did feel guilty.
My full time job might be a lot harder. I found it quite hard to want to or even attempt to handover the reigns this week. When my replacement was announced, all I can say was that my reaction was less then excited. I think it was then that I realized this was really happening, and I became jealous...this new girl was gonna be the new me...what if she does a better job? What if my co-workers like her more? What if they realize I was really crappy at my job?..I can't explain it but it really tore me apart inside. I have a friend that does that same job I do, she actually helped trained me when I first went into this business and she described our job as "a job that any monkey can do"...which really irked me, I work damn hard at what I do and I am passionate and to describe it likes that ....well you might as well punch me square in the face. I do care about the sort of work I do, and I try to be the best at what I do...needless to say this didn't help. However I got to thinking, first days are hard enough, we all hate them and I would never want to start a job where I thought people disliked me. So I made a pact with myself and the new girl (although she didn't know) that I would do the very best for her, welcome her into my team and train her to the best standard I can do. You know that "treat others as you would like to be treated"...I belive in that, and my 31 year old heart is dedicated to that. Rock on!
However all this new work optimism has not translated into my personal life. I still feel in desperate need of a pep talk. I have been doing some job hunting on the internet and all it seems to show me is how niche my job is and how a lot of things don't "fit" for me. I can be anybodys secretary, I can be an administrative assitant until I am old and gray...but I don't want to be someone secretary, I want to be someone's boss. I know it sounds snobbish and maybe a little selfish but I am at a point in my career where I am afraid if I step down to a lesser position it is gonna be that much harder to make the larger step up to where I want to be. This might be an unfounded fear and who knows maybe when I get to the US I will find a job straight off that I love, but this is my current state of mind. I think Roy will find a job
I will end tonight with a final thought love it a wonderful thing and so is dog ownership...the 2 things that are keeping me smiling and keeping me sane and moving foward are these two.
much faster then I will...either way we need to find jobs ASAP!
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