I am back to blogging after a bit of a forced break, our laptop that we brought from the UK died about 3 weeks ago, we had it to the computer Dr, who tried everything to bring it back to life but to no avail. My feeling is that we used the adaptor from the UK a bit longer then we should have and it fried the mother board,but hey ho it happens. I am now writing to you from our new netbook, which is ok. I am not much of a techy and my buyers remorse goes into overload when I go to places like Best Buy or even the techy section of Wal-mart. However racing home to get to the library one night a week to monitor bank accounts and bill payments and Skype with all my buddies in two countries isn't ideal, so off we went to Best Buy on Saturday and I whipped around (literally jogged) around the laptop section and ruled out anything above the $400 range (I know the geek squad out there is head slapping at the moment and screaming WHYYYYY you can't put a price on 3,00,000, megs of ram, or some techy crap like that). We had it narrowed down between 3 netbooks (cause they were the cheapest) that we liked and headed off to Staples to compare prices...when walking into Staples I got my hopes up because they were having a technology clearence.....CLEARENCE MY BACKSIDE...I don't know what they were originally priced at but they had nothing under $700. I walked out Staples yelling "YO MOMMA" and strutting back to Best Buy. Where we purchased the netbook I am on and an external cd drive...and that is that..you thoroughly bored yet? I sure am.
So I finally got to get back to becoming a future farmers wife, well as close I can get living in-town. Saturday I started my laudry ritual, cleaned the kitchen, and was contemplating mowing the grass (hopefully for the last time this year),but I didn't want to wake my Mom up (she works nights). So just as I sat down to figure out something to do with my Saturday (hubby works every weekend so I have my weekends to myself, which is bitter sweet). Just as I was sitting down with my coffee Mom got up and took her dog to the groomers, I ran out to the shed, hopped on the John Deere,it took a bit to fire it up but I got it there, and started cutting the grass. Mowing is one of my favorite things to do, I always think about things, dream about my own grass that I hope to be cutting in the near future, and I always set myself a side project for when I am done mowing the grass, like weeding the front beds or tidying up the dog grave that we have near the pool. I was contemplating taking on this part of the yard we call the jungle, my Mom's house (don't judge, yes I live with my Mom at the moment) sits on an old greenhouse/garden center site. Her pool house is the furnace room of one of the green houses and there is 2 other buildings. Between the pool house and another random building that, to be honest I couldn't tell you what it has in anymore, there is a patch of ground that has become overgrown and jungle like...we usually throw the dead animals that find their way into the pool in there, and the dogs like to explore in the jungle..and in the summer it has plenty of wonderful poison ivy to ruin your summer. Well, just as I was getting the brill idea of going in there on my own and hacking down the trees and digging up the roots and basically getting in there and making it something a bit more functional the landscaping guy I had asked to hack it down showed up. Which made me yell "YEAH!!" a bit too loud (I was yelling over the sound of the lawn mower and "Big Girls" by Mika pounding in my ears). So the jungle has mostly been hacked down..I am hoping he comes back to finish the job (as I don't think it looks done), however if he doesn't it is now to a point where I could probably tackle it myself. While the landscaping guy was hacking the jungle down, I weeded out the left side of the front beds and the sides and half of the center front bed. I went into the house to make sure the dog weren't killing each other or using the house as their toilet (not my angels), thankfully they weren't doing either, they were sunning themselves in the sun spots on the carpet. I thought it was only about 11.30a at that point but I was having so much fun being a green thumb that it was actually 1.40p and I had to meet Roy at 2.30p and I had some other errands to run in between...eeek. All this outside work really inspires me and makes me want my own place so much more. I can not wait until I have animals to feed and gardens of my own to weed. However that makes me think of all the things I have to buy to keep my grounds looking fab, and that makes me hyperventilate a little.
The house hunt continues for us, we have found a few more houses that look really interesting, however as it gets closer to calling the mortgage advisor I am starting to feel like they are gonna laugh me outta the building. We don't have that much of a down payment and we have only been in the US for about 5 months and we have been working here even less, however they told us to get Roy a credit card and call them when we get the 3rd bill paid...it can't be that easy surely. I am trying not to doubt, and I am trying to be positive but it does get hard thinking of all the things we need to get to just live in anything bigger then a tent.
Work has been going a bit better, however I still feel like I am getting fired every five seconds and I feel more like I am pretending rather than informing people (as is part of my job) when I am completing my work day.
I still feel really blessed to be living this life, and I feel that I am finding my spirituality and my way back to God...I think he is bringng a lot of attention to things in my life that I need to change...sometimes I make an effort to change those things and sometimes I get swept up into the world, either way his patient love chips aways at me.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Interesting reading.
So I just figured out how to see how people are finding my blog online...and wow the results are a tad scary like someone found me by googling "sex in farmers" and another came via stopa cheater.com....must keep my eye on my stats a bit closer, if only for sheer entertainment.
So what has been going on with me? Not a whole lot to be honest, well not a whole lot that I am wanting to share with the individuals looking at my blog by googling "sex in farmers". Our housing sitch remains the same, living with Mom and saving for a house, we have found loads of houses we would buy tomorrow but we are waiting and doing this the right way so Roy and I both can be brought down financially should we fail at homeownership. It looks like we only have about another 2 months to wait and then the ball can roll forward again.
Work is terrifying, I can't say a whole lot on the subject. I am just really finding it difficult to enter in a system the times I get up to go pee, it just happens, I drink a lot and in turn that produces urine, which for the comfort of my co-workers and for myself I would like to go relieve myself in the bathroom...well I can go to the bathroom, I just have to let big brother know. I am also struggling with only 1/2 hour lunches, I feel like I run down to the cafeteria throw the food at my face and whatever gets in my mouth is my lunch for the day before I have to return back to my desk. PLEASE don't read this as my ungratefullness of having a job, I am just finding it hard to get used to. I also feel like I am in one of those naked dreams, where I am running around in a constant state of paranoia and others are just plodding on without a care in the world....I feel like I have to stop people and say "hey I am freaking out...why aren't you?"...you know like in the naked dream where you have to tell people you are naked. I know I will probably get used to it and all that good stuff but 6 weeks of being afraid that I will get zapped by big brother watching me makes me really tired when I get home, and OH SOOO thankful for the furry babies that just want me for walking/ball throwing/feeding/snuggling duties.
Roy and I celebrate 6 years of wedded bliss tomorrow, which makes today the day of dread. I am handeling year 6 a lot differently then I have handeled previous years. I actually cried today, not just reminiced and was sad, but cried like a unstoppable sob cry (of course when no one was looking), I would like to say that I am strong and I hide this from Roy, but I am not that girl, I am sad and he needs to know that I am there with him in his sadness. I miss his mother, I didn't know her long but she was MAGICAL...I can't even describe it. She just had a way about her that I haven't seen in anyone since, and I know some BRILLIANT people. I miss her today, I was angry with her for at least 3 years...but today I miss her. I wonder if she would be proud of us for how our marriage has lasted and been strong. I wonder if she would be bitter about us moving or if she would have encouraged us to go get the things we want out of life. Roy thinks she would have kicked us out of the house sooner, not in the get-out-of-my-house-spongers kind of way but more of a ...it is time for the birdies to fly and get out of the nest type of way...which I would have appreciated.
I think my sadness is also linked to me missing my UK life, I miss my friends and my old job (as stressful as it was). I miss the simplicity of life there. However I do not miss a lot of things about it there either, I don't miss the feral children, and paying for fricking everything, the lack of community spirit and the HUUUUUGGGGEEE gap between the classes. I would move back I think, although Roy says no and he is finally happy where we are...he is right...when I lived there I wanted to be here and when I am here I want to be there...it is a cross I will have to carry.
Anywho, I am off to eat my salad and maybe fold some laundry...then it is a financial pow-wow to figure out how I am gonna be a farmers wife.
So what has been going on with me? Not a whole lot to be honest, well not a whole lot that I am wanting to share with the individuals looking at my blog by googling "sex in farmers". Our housing sitch remains the same, living with Mom and saving for a house, we have found loads of houses we would buy tomorrow but we are waiting and doing this the right way so Roy and I both can be brought down financially should we fail at homeownership. It looks like we only have about another 2 months to wait and then the ball can roll forward again.
Work is terrifying, I can't say a whole lot on the subject. I am just really finding it difficult to enter in a system the times I get up to go pee, it just happens, I drink a lot and in turn that produces urine, which for the comfort of my co-workers and for myself I would like to go relieve myself in the bathroom...well I can go to the bathroom, I just have to let big brother know. I am also struggling with only 1/2 hour lunches, I feel like I run down to the cafeteria throw the food at my face and whatever gets in my mouth is my lunch for the day before I have to return back to my desk. PLEASE don't read this as my ungratefullness of having a job, I am just finding it hard to get used to. I also feel like I am in one of those naked dreams, where I am running around in a constant state of paranoia and others are just plodding on without a care in the world....I feel like I have to stop people and say "hey I am freaking out...why aren't you?"...you know like in the naked dream where you have to tell people you are naked. I know I will probably get used to it and all that good stuff but 6 weeks of being afraid that I will get zapped by big brother watching me makes me really tired when I get home, and OH SOOO thankful for the furry babies that just want me for walking/ball throwing/feeding/snuggling duties.
Roy and I celebrate 6 years of wedded bliss tomorrow, which makes today the day of dread. I am handeling year 6 a lot differently then I have handeled previous years. I actually cried today, not just reminiced and was sad, but cried like a unstoppable sob cry (of course when no one was looking), I would like to say that I am strong and I hide this from Roy, but I am not that girl, I am sad and he needs to know that I am there with him in his sadness. I miss his mother, I didn't know her long but she was MAGICAL...I can't even describe it. She just had a way about her that I haven't seen in anyone since, and I know some BRILLIANT people. I miss her today, I was angry with her for at least 3 years...but today I miss her. I wonder if she would be proud of us for how our marriage has lasted and been strong. I wonder if she would be bitter about us moving or if she would have encouraged us to go get the things we want out of life. Roy thinks she would have kicked us out of the house sooner, not in the get-out-of-my-house-spongers kind of way but more of a ...it is time for the birdies to fly and get out of the nest type of way...which I would have appreciated.
I think my sadness is also linked to me missing my UK life, I miss my friends and my old job (as stressful as it was). I miss the simplicity of life there. However I do not miss a lot of things about it there either, I don't miss the feral children, and paying for fricking everything, the lack of community spirit and the HUUUUUGGGGEEE gap between the classes. I would move back I think, although Roy says no and he is finally happy where we are...he is right...when I lived there I wanted to be here and when I am here I want to be there...it is a cross I will have to carry.
Anywho, I am off to eat my salad and maybe fold some laundry...then it is a financial pow-wow to figure out how I am gonna be a farmers wife.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Getting back to the basics.
The blogging has fallen by the waysid=\ze I know, I am just settling into working life again, and trying to get a rythm with my schedule, Roy's schedule and my furry babies schedules. I am enjoying each step along the way. I have so much to write about but I know by the time I have written this I won't even of discussed half of it, but here goes.
So work is going well, I had worried about being just a number in the huge corporation in which I work for, and I guess to some deparments I am, but I have managed to find a core group of ladies that I am having a great time getting to know. The work is challening and interesting and I am enjoying the learning process (kinda) but at the same time I am VERY nervous about the time when training is over and I am let loose to do the job I will have trained for 4 weeks to do. My trainer and work friends say that I am going to do fine, but I am just not the confident, I know eventually I will get there and it will all be old hat and familiar but I am nervous for the time that it will be new, scary, and I will annoy my supervisor with my billion questions.
I have signed up with my Mom to teach 5th and 6th grade Sunday school. The clip board has been passed around church a few times asking for volunteers, and it has weighed on my heart to get more involved in making our church a success. I talked to Mom about it because I am a little worried that these 5th and 6th graders won't learn from me or that they will see right through my facade because my big sercret is that they prob do know more then me and we will be learning together. Mom said she would help and we would do teach and it wouldn't be such a burden, I just hope I do a good job. I start in December so have till then to get myself prepared.
Hmm what else....I am trying to get myself back to losing weight...I know I know broken record and all, but I am taking it in slow steps. I am just trying to be more conscious about what I am putting in my body and trying to make better decisions, but I do need those times when I can just eat some pizza. Taking the dogs out all the time, and going different places with them, and letting them run their pent up energy out has also afforded me the luxury of allowing me to get some exercise in and enjoying it. I don't want to scarifice time with my "family" to go to a gym and do something I hate, when I can come home and be with the people/dogs I love most in my life and get all of us out and moving.
Now back to the good stuff, Roy and I have started to look for a house, if the mortgage advisor has given us correct information Roy and I have only 3 months to wait until we are pre-approved for a mortgage. I know where I want to be in terms of price wise, but until we get that official piece of paperwork we are drawing up a list of the things we want in a house/property. Although I would love to, I think that building is out of our budget, so we are looking for an established home (I think). We have been scouring the internet for what is on the market at the moment and have driven by and up to a few houses, last Sunday we actually drove up to a property that is high on our list and the owner was so kind and showed us around. I am excited about being this close to being a homeowner and also frustrated that I am not already a homeowner. Roy and I have been going into local consignment shops, thrift stores, antique furniture, flea markets, yard sales, and local boutiques to see what is out there in terms of furnishing our house. I am THOROUGHLY enjoying this process, it is true what they say one mans junk is another mans treasure (it might just need a little spray paint...HA HA). We have also been taking "research trips" to Lowes and Home Depot, which Roy and I very much enjoy and thankfully we are both pretty much on the same wave length in terms of what we like, we can pretty much find a happy medium when doing out fantasy house stuff shopping.
Well I am off out with my sexy hubby to take our furry babies on a hike!
God Bless all who read this.
Kristen
So work is going well, I had worried about being just a number in the huge corporation in which I work for, and I guess to some deparments I am, but I have managed to find a core group of ladies that I am having a great time getting to know. The work is challening and interesting and I am enjoying the learning process (kinda) but at the same time I am VERY nervous about the time when training is over and I am let loose to do the job I will have trained for 4 weeks to do. My trainer and work friends say that I am going to do fine, but I am just not the confident, I know eventually I will get there and it will all be old hat and familiar but I am nervous for the time that it will be new, scary, and I will annoy my supervisor with my billion questions.
I have signed up with my Mom to teach 5th and 6th grade Sunday school. The clip board has been passed around church a few times asking for volunteers, and it has weighed on my heart to get more involved in making our church a success. I talked to Mom about it because I am a little worried that these 5th and 6th graders won't learn from me or that they will see right through my facade because my big sercret is that they prob do know more then me and we will be learning together. Mom said she would help and we would do teach and it wouldn't be such a burden, I just hope I do a good job. I start in December so have till then to get myself prepared.
Hmm what else....I am trying to get myself back to losing weight...I know I know broken record and all, but I am taking it in slow steps. I am just trying to be more conscious about what I am putting in my body and trying to make better decisions, but I do need those times when I can just eat some pizza. Taking the dogs out all the time, and going different places with them, and letting them run their pent up energy out has also afforded me the luxury of allowing me to get some exercise in and enjoying it. I don't want to scarifice time with my "family" to go to a gym and do something I hate, when I can come home and be with the people/dogs I love most in my life and get all of us out and moving.
Now back to the good stuff, Roy and I have started to look for a house, if the mortgage advisor has given us correct information Roy and I have only 3 months to wait until we are pre-approved for a mortgage. I know where I want to be in terms of price wise, but until we get that official piece of paperwork we are drawing up a list of the things we want in a house/property. Although I would love to, I think that building is out of our budget, so we are looking for an established home (I think). We have been scouring the internet for what is on the market at the moment and have driven by and up to a few houses, last Sunday we actually drove up to a property that is high on our list and the owner was so kind and showed us around. I am excited about being this close to being a homeowner and also frustrated that I am not already a homeowner. Roy and I have been going into local consignment shops, thrift stores, antique furniture, flea markets, yard sales, and local boutiques to see what is out there in terms of furnishing our house. I am THOROUGHLY enjoying this process, it is true what they say one mans junk is another mans treasure (it might just need a little spray paint...HA HA). We have also been taking "research trips" to Lowes and Home Depot, which Roy and I very much enjoy and thankfully we are both pretty much on the same wave length in terms of what we like, we can pretty much find a happy medium when doing out fantasy house stuff shopping.
Well I am off out with my sexy hubby to take our furry babies on a hike!
God Bless all who read this.
Kristen
Monday, 6 August 2012
Can this all be really happening to little old me?
I have been blessed, I look around at my life now and can't believe I am here at this point in my life, one of the happiest points I can remember in a long time. I have almost everything I want in life, and I DEF have everything I need and this is a great place to be. Yes everything isn't perfect but those things seem insignificant or acheieveable in the near future and I am satisfied with that today. I have a husband that loves that socks off of me, a great family that I am just getting to know and am becoming very close to, I have two great furry babies, a church that makes me excited to get up on Sunday mornings just to hear what God has in store for me and I could go on and on. I have been blessed beyond measure since we have moved back to the US which makes me believe that this is exactly where we are supposed to be.
To top off the blessings in my life, the best one so far is that after a 6 year silence between my brother and I he has finally forgiven me for a hurtful comment I made and we are slowly putting our relationship back on track, which alone in itself removes a major hurt from my heart. Speaking of family, my Mom's long lost (but known about) brother and his wife are playing a major role in my life now and I couldn't be more happy. I finally have an extended family that A. Doesn't hate me for moving out of the US and B. Loves me and my mother and the rest of our family UNCONDITIONALLY. It's a great feeling and I hope that all of you out there in internet land that is reading this right now will someday, or already have, experienced this sort of love.
I am starting work on Aug 20th which means we can finally start to put away some serious money for our house down payment. I am excited to start on this journey, I have an estate agent sending me info on mortgages, FHA loans and all the goodies that come with homeownership. I CAN NOT wait to own my own home, I have some specifics that I want in a house that I am not willing to compromise on but these are few and I am pretty open minded about what we get. I have to be open minded about what we get because our budget is rather limited, I would love to buy a fixer upper but neither Roy or I know how to fixer upper much of anything. I think we can handle painting and stuff of that nature but anything beyond that is a mystery and expensive. All that being told I still excited to enter into this lifelong relationship with the bank and get into my own house where I can strut around nekkid if I so felt that need to do so.
The dogs are doing great, Capone is growing up and testing everything that he can reach, most of all my patience and the taste of the mulch outside. Dillinger is tolerating Capone but does have to remind him that NO he would not a like a french kiss, but they are finding their place in the house. We had to take Capone to the vet the other day because he had picked up a virus or ate something that didn't agree with him. However with some tender loving care from our fab Vet and my credit card he is back to his old self.
Roy is doing really well to, he is enjoying his job at Weis as a butcher and I think secretly likes all the attention his accent brings him, though he would never admit that. Roy is enjoying being the bread winner and I am enjoying being the happy housewife, for the moment.
I don't have a whole lot to report on this front apart from my happiness and the continued blessings in my life. Look at me I wrote a completely positive blog...
To top off the blessings in my life, the best one so far is that after a 6 year silence between my brother and I he has finally forgiven me for a hurtful comment I made and we are slowly putting our relationship back on track, which alone in itself removes a major hurt from my heart. Speaking of family, my Mom's long lost (but known about) brother and his wife are playing a major role in my life now and I couldn't be more happy. I finally have an extended family that A. Doesn't hate me for moving out of the US and B. Loves me and my mother and the rest of our family UNCONDITIONALLY. It's a great feeling and I hope that all of you out there in internet land that is reading this right now will someday, or already have, experienced this sort of love.
I am starting work on Aug 20th which means we can finally start to put away some serious money for our house down payment. I am excited to start on this journey, I have an estate agent sending me info on mortgages, FHA loans and all the goodies that come with homeownership. I CAN NOT wait to own my own home, I have some specifics that I want in a house that I am not willing to compromise on but these are few and I am pretty open minded about what we get. I have to be open minded about what we get because our budget is rather limited, I would love to buy a fixer upper but neither Roy or I know how to fixer upper much of anything. I think we can handle painting and stuff of that nature but anything beyond that is a mystery and expensive. All that being told I still excited to enter into this lifelong relationship with the bank and get into my own house where I can strut around nekkid if I so felt that need to do so.
The dogs are doing great, Capone is growing up and testing everything that he can reach, most of all my patience and the taste of the mulch outside. Dillinger is tolerating Capone but does have to remind him that NO he would not a like a french kiss, but they are finding their place in the house. We had to take Capone to the vet the other day because he had picked up a virus or ate something that didn't agree with him. However with some tender loving care from our fab Vet and my credit card he is back to his old self.
Roy is doing really well to, he is enjoying his job at Weis as a butcher and I think secretly likes all the attention his accent brings him, though he would never admit that. Roy is enjoying being the bread winner and I am enjoying being the happy housewife, for the moment.
I don't have a whole lot to report on this front apart from my happiness and the continued blessings in my life. Look at me I wrote a completely positive blog...
Wednesday, 11 July 2012
It's all happening now.
Well...I finally have a lot of good news to report.
1. Roy has a job
2. I have a job
3.We have a new puppy.
4. We have a new truck (well new to us)
Yep yep it is all happening here. I am loving it and am trying my best to suppress the feeling of waiting for something to go wrong, to be honest, I feel blessed and I know these things are all gifts from God. So I am rolling with it.
So the details on the jobs; Roy is working as a butcher for Weis Markets we dont' know if he is going to be traveling or working full time in one store, he finds out the nitty gritty tomorrow! I am going to start working for an insurance consultancy company, basically the jist is that I am going to be reviewing insurance policies and trying to correct clerical errors and either approve the claim of re-instate the denial.
We finally have a vehicle of our own, Roy found a Ford F-150 on the internet, we went to have a look at it and ended up buying it then and there. This car is fab and I feel like I am living a dream when we ride in it, I feel like it is almost too fancy for me. The same dealer we bought the truck from is looking for a Ford Edge for me in black or gun metal grey, I am hoping to have that by the end of this week. So yeah, WOW and EEEEK...my buyers remorse is in over drive.
The puppy is kind of an added surprise, basically I was coming back from cleaning at the farm/retreat/campground that I have been working at this summer and I almost hit him as he was in the middle of the road. I scooped him up and tried to re-unite him with his Momma and his black brother or sister but they weren't having any of that, and yes I could have put him down and he might have run off into the sunset with Momma and brother/sister but I couldn't face the fact that more than likely he was gonna get hit by a car...so I brought him home. I posted on Facebook that I found him, where I found him, and his pic...I haven't heard a peep...and wouldn't you know it I fell in love with him. So we have decided that we are gonna name him Capone Highway Sharpe and he is ours until his owners step forward (which looks pretty unlikely, judging from the neighbors in the area I found him.)
So basically I have been busy cleaning and puppy watching, swimming and being blessed.
I do have to say one thing, just to balance out all this positivity....It seems that every life decision you make there is always someone around to point out the risks and possible failures associated with it....a few examples are when we bought the truck we were told the dealer we bought it from was crap and have been repeatly told how much gas they eat, and billion other reasons not to by this car....we did weigh up these things before we bought and trust me I know exactly what we were getting into....but thanks for making us feel good about our decision.
I also love how much people are telling me how hard it is to raise a puppy...did you miss the 10 year old mini schnauzer we have? He was a puppy too and I did just fine raising him...again I know the risks but thanks for pooing on my parade.
Finally the thing that really takes the cake is when we tell people we are house hunting and the response is "a house is so expensive, are you ready for the financial responsibility?" OHHH thank you I didn't know a house costs a shite load of money...I thought they were paid for with fairy dust and belly button lint....YES I KNOW THEY ARE EXPENSIVE! I know these people mean well, or maybe are just jealous, but it is bloody annoying. I am 31 I do know a little bit about the "real world" now (not refering to the MTV show).
After experienceing all this negativity and judgement it makes me realize 2 things:
1. I defininitly want to have my womb removed, because if I get this much judgement just deciding what to drive or what pet to have, then being a parent is like being on death row, and I don't like small spaces with a toilet out in the open. My hats off to those of you that have chosen parenthood, and can face that sort of judgment without punching people in the face on an hourly basis
2. If someone tells me about somethingthey are about to buy or take on that involves significant amounts of money or time, I will not pick them apart. I will rather encourage and support them because they are probably crapping their pants about their decision and do not need to hear what "could" go wrong.
Thank you and good night!
1. Roy has a job
2. I have a job
3.We have a new puppy.
4. We have a new truck (well new to us)
Yep yep it is all happening here. I am loving it and am trying my best to suppress the feeling of waiting for something to go wrong, to be honest, I feel blessed and I know these things are all gifts from God. So I am rolling with it.
So the details on the jobs; Roy is working as a butcher for Weis Markets we dont' know if he is going to be traveling or working full time in one store, he finds out the nitty gritty tomorrow! I am going to start working for an insurance consultancy company, basically the jist is that I am going to be reviewing insurance policies and trying to correct clerical errors and either approve the claim of re-instate the denial.
We finally have a vehicle of our own, Roy found a Ford F-150 on the internet, we went to have a look at it and ended up buying it then and there. This car is fab and I feel like I am living a dream when we ride in it, I feel like it is almost too fancy for me. The same dealer we bought the truck from is looking for a Ford Edge for me in black or gun metal grey, I am hoping to have that by the end of this week. So yeah, WOW and EEEEK...my buyers remorse is in over drive.
The puppy is kind of an added surprise, basically I was coming back from cleaning at the farm/retreat/campground that I have been working at this summer and I almost hit him as he was in the middle of the road. I scooped him up and tried to re-unite him with his Momma and his black brother or sister but they weren't having any of that, and yes I could have put him down and he might have run off into the sunset with Momma and brother/sister but I couldn't face the fact that more than likely he was gonna get hit by a car...so I brought him home. I posted on Facebook that I found him, where I found him, and his pic...I haven't heard a peep...and wouldn't you know it I fell in love with him. So we have decided that we are gonna name him Capone Highway Sharpe and he is ours until his owners step forward (which looks pretty unlikely, judging from the neighbors in the area I found him.)
So basically I have been busy cleaning and puppy watching, swimming and being blessed.
I do have to say one thing, just to balance out all this positivity....It seems that every life decision you make there is always someone around to point out the risks and possible failures associated with it....a few examples are when we bought the truck we were told the dealer we bought it from was crap and have been repeatly told how much gas they eat, and billion other reasons not to by this car....we did weigh up these things before we bought and trust me I know exactly what we were getting into....but thanks for making us feel good about our decision.
I also love how much people are telling me how hard it is to raise a puppy...did you miss the 10 year old mini schnauzer we have? He was a puppy too and I did just fine raising him...again I know the risks but thanks for pooing on my parade.
Finally the thing that really takes the cake is when we tell people we are house hunting and the response is "a house is so expensive, are you ready for the financial responsibility?" OHHH thank you I didn't know a house costs a shite load of money...I thought they were paid for with fairy dust and belly button lint....YES I KNOW THEY ARE EXPENSIVE! I know these people mean well, or maybe are just jealous, but it is bloody annoying. I am 31 I do know a little bit about the "real world" now (not refering to the MTV show).
After experienceing all this negativity and judgement it makes me realize 2 things:
1. I defininitly want to have my womb removed, because if I get this much judgement just deciding what to drive or what pet to have, then being a parent is like being on death row, and I don't like small spaces with a toilet out in the open. My hats off to those of you that have chosen parenthood, and can face that sort of judgment without punching people in the face on an hourly basis
2. If someone tells me about somethingthey are about to buy or take on that involves significant amounts of money or time, I will not pick them apart. I will rather encourage and support them because they are probably crapping their pants about their decision and do not need to hear what "could" go wrong.
Thank you and good night!
Saturday, 23 June 2012
A little bit of the slime is wiped away
I thought I better get in here and blog today as I am feeling slightly better then I have been in the last two weeks. I don't feel like the world is collapsing in on me and that I am a stranger in a strange land so much today. I don't know if it is all the sunshine or the 2 McGriddles I ate this morning...either way I am going with it.
The last time we left off I think I was having another sleepless night where all I do is worry, fret and generally think of myself as a failure. I did go to that interivew I talked about and I didn't feel as zombie like as I thought I would, however I did get lost and ended up showing up 30 mins late. They still let me interview but followed it up with a "you suck, you were late" letter...I deserved it.
Afterwards Roy got an invite to go down to Allentown to interview at a poshy posh supermarket as a butcher, we went he did great and they invited him back for a second interview where they would see just how great he is with the steel and then settle out of the final salary and benefits. So that Friday we were supposed to get down to Allentown I woke up SO SICK, at the time I didn't know if it was nerves about possibly moving 2.5 hours east of where I wanted to live, but a job is a job and we both need one each. Anywho I puked my guts out, and puked some more, and puked until I thought my stomach would turn inside out...and then it started at the other end...oh yes folks this was full blown stomach flu. I told Roy that I would still go to the interview with him we just might need to stop a lot! However he said "No Way" and we stayed home...I got over it pretty much in 24 hours although the two days after the initial day I was still a bit shaky and stayed away from eating...mostly anything apart from Saltines (my English Roses, think Jacobs cream crackers). Then on Saturday night Roy started puking and pooing..not great, he took a little bit longer to get over it but he eventually did get over the stomach flu.
Remember the last time we spoke and I said about "bug bites" yeah substitute the words "bug bites" for "the worst poison ivy rash that ever existed". I somehow, probably helping to weed the yard, touched or came into contact with poison ivy. I have lived in the USA for 25 years before I departed for her majesty's shores and never EVER got this terrible rash...well in my 31st year I had my dues paid right back....this is terrible and can look like this
The last time we left off I think I was having another sleepless night where all I do is worry, fret and generally think of myself as a failure. I did go to that interivew I talked about and I didn't feel as zombie like as I thought I would, however I did get lost and ended up showing up 30 mins late. They still let me interview but followed it up with a "you suck, you were late" letter...I deserved it.
Afterwards Roy got an invite to go down to Allentown to interview at a poshy posh supermarket as a butcher, we went he did great and they invited him back for a second interview where they would see just how great he is with the steel and then settle out of the final salary and benefits. So that Friday we were supposed to get down to Allentown I woke up SO SICK, at the time I didn't know if it was nerves about possibly moving 2.5 hours east of where I wanted to live, but a job is a job and we both need one each. Anywho I puked my guts out, and puked some more, and puked until I thought my stomach would turn inside out...and then it started at the other end...oh yes folks this was full blown stomach flu. I told Roy that I would still go to the interview with him we just might need to stop a lot! However he said "No Way" and we stayed home...I got over it pretty much in 24 hours although the two days after the initial day I was still a bit shaky and stayed away from eating...mostly anything apart from Saltines (my English Roses, think Jacobs cream crackers). Then on Saturday night Roy started puking and pooing..not great, he took a little bit longer to get over it but he eventually did get over the stomach flu.
Remember the last time we spoke and I said about "bug bites" yeah substitute the words "bug bites" for "the worst poison ivy rash that ever existed". I somehow, probably helping to weed the yard, touched or came into contact with poison ivy. I have lived in the USA for 25 years before I departed for her majesty's shores and never EVER got this terrible rash...well in my 31st year I had my dues paid right back....this is terrible and can look like this
Thankfully mine didn't look this bad mine looked more like this
and no that isn't actually my leg/arm/extremity. But I can say it itched really really really bad, like keep you awake at night, want to rip your skin off and douse it in bleach. Which funnily enough is the way to get rid of it, or at least it was for me. I tried everything but nothing worked for me apart from hot scalding showers (when you have poison ivy rash this feels like 1,000 orgasms...ohhh ahh) and after the hottest shower ever I wiped down with bleach...dried it up in almost a week and now I am down to one hot scalder a day and I can sorta sleep at night (when I am not worrying or fretting...which hasn't exactly happened yet).
So anyway after battling through the stomach flu, poison ivy rash, and the constant threat of depression...Dillinger decided to throw his hat into the ring and start limping THANK YOU! However it wasn't too bad I called this morning at 8am and he had an appt at 9.20am, and WOW were the staff and Vet a nice bunch and it only cost $12.75 to get his little foot back and running, he had a little bit of a toe nail issue that was easily fixed with a toe nail trim. If you have ever heard me talk about Dill you know that he has major feet issues and won't even let me close to him when he needs anything done with this feet, so I needed to call in the professionals.
Also during the last two weeks Roy and I have been lending a hand at church for vaction bible school (VBS) if you aren't familiar basically it is 2 weeks of a program where all the kids in the church (and their friends) come to our church and do arts and crafts, have snacks and learn about Jesus. It has been great to have a purpose, a place to go where people depend on you...even if it is to take attendence and paint some wooden boxes or hand out the snack. Some of the kids were really cute but I left every night still thanking the good Lord that I didn't have any brats to take home (much to my mothers dismay). Last night was the final night for VBS and I have to say that I am a little sad to not be going anymore. I will miss it, and I will have to find something to do during my evenings now.
As for us, we are still looking for jobs, I am applying for everything that I "think" I can do. I have given up on applying for the fun stuff, because someone else always gets that job not me. I have also found out that I am terrified of not being able to do a tough job, so I have been applying for the stuff I know I can do with my eyes closed. Hello my name is Kristen and I have no confidence (Hello Kristen). Roy is also applying and is slowly losing the will to live, but in true knight-in-shining-armor he encourages me everyday and tries to keep the faith that things will work out.
Roy finally got ahold of Alan the other day and had a good long chat with him..he is doing ok and keeping busy.
In keeping with my good mood I thought I would just say that I am thankful for everyone telling us that things will work out, that God has a good plans for us, and for just praying for us. I also want to thank the Hassinger family who keep giving us some work here and there, which helps to keep the wolves from the door and food on the table and I am eternally grateful. Also thanks to Sally for the pep talks and the constant support and to Ike and Ashley for keeping the "British Butcher" in mind, I know that Roy values that as well. Also thank you to our church family who keep encouraging us and praying for us there is too many to mention and I don't want to offend anyone if I forget to mention you here. A final and huge thanks goes to Mom, we havent yet fought and you are always a source of laughter, common sense and encouragement...thanks for helping with Dad and being the buffer between me and family memebers who are not my biggest fan.
Well off to go do something productive.
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
My 2.21am, freaking out, can't sleep, oh-my-goodness-what-have-I-done-blog!
It's 2.23am here in the good old US of A and I can't sleep. I have an interview tomorrow, and I am supposed to be fresh and professional, and I want to be fresh and professional...but I just can not stop worrying and freaking out and thinking I have made the worst mistake moving here. I left a job that I loved and by all accounts (from what I heard from the glowing comments, emails, and subsequent Faccebook comments from all my now former co-workers) I was pretty friggin good at. Roy left a job that he was beginning to really take flight in, however he didn't "technically" have a job after May 19th, but I am sure something would have worked out there.
Did we move to soon? We only had about 3 more years of me working 7 days a week and Roy working when he could find a steady placement until we were debt free. My 2.27am brain is convinced that we might have been too hasty in our upping sticks and moving the farm here. I am also convinced I am being severely attacked by the dark side of life. I feel like there isn't a job out there for me. I have been looking and applying and looking and applying and nothing is a solid "Oh heck yeah,' I would love to do that", and I am TERRIFIED of getting into a job I HATE and getting stuck. I have this heartburn growing in my chest because I don't know what is out there for us, and I don't feel like a contributing member of society because I am not contributing financially to that society...it all makes me very teary.
I didn't picture at 31 that I would be still living at home with a parent, married, covered in bug bites, crying, unable to sleep with this little thing as my 2.32am companion.
Did we move to soon? We only had about 3 more years of me working 7 days a week and Roy working when he could find a steady placement until we were debt free. My 2.27am brain is convinced that we might have been too hasty in our upping sticks and moving the farm here. I am also convinced I am being severely attacked by the dark side of life. I feel like there isn't a job out there for me. I have been looking and applying and looking and applying and nothing is a solid "Oh heck yeah,' I would love to do that", and I am TERRIFIED of getting into a job I HATE and getting stuck. I have this heartburn growing in my chest because I don't know what is out there for us, and I don't feel like a contributing member of society because I am not contributing financially to that society...it all makes me very teary.
I didn't picture at 31 that I would be still living at home with a parent, married, covered in bug bites, crying, unable to sleep with this little thing as my 2.32am companion.
I also didn't know I was gonna visit my only 60 year old father in a nursing home, and not have a thing of value to my name apart from my dog, and my wedding rings. It is a lot to take in and a lot to deal with and I thought I had this game on lock! I guess I don't and now it is coming out in a can't sleep, major life re-thinking, what-the-h-am-I-gonna-do-now, freak out.
To be honest I don't have much option here, I can't move back to the UK, we dont' have the money for that and we don't have jobs there either, and who knows if Alan would even let us move back in. I have to stay here and maybe start applying to "Would you like fries with that" academy., but my inner job snobbiness won't let me..but I have to suck up my pride once again and go and get the necessary done..*wretch*
I pretty sure what brought this freak out on is all the "you suck, we don't want you" letters that I am getting coupled with an interview tomorrow, that to be honest, when I applied I thought they would NEVER call me...but of course they did. I am so waiting for them to laugh me out of the interview tomorrow, and I just feel this pressure, not from anyone else but from myself, that I need to excel and be the 31 year old professional, home owner that I so desperately want to be.
Today we looked at campers thinking we would buy one and just live in that, which to honest the campers (caravans) over here are amazing, not the Mom and Pop pop up campers I grew up in...no siree bob. However now that we are jobless losers, we go to car dealers and camping centers, and troll through real estate websites and say "well we would love to purchase, rent, buy, your product however we don't have jobs and we still live at home"....also try getting a bank account here when you only have green card and a passport and no other form of "US issued photo ID"...just go ahead and try...you can't do it! We are social pariah's we are the "foreigners", sometimes I look at people and almost wonder if they are saying "Well you did this to yourself Kristen, you deserted the homeland 5 years ago, don't expect us to welcome you back with open arms now"...ugh my 2.44am brain is a stinker isn't it?
Well I don't have a positive note to end on, in fact I think that my "I will blog and get this all out, and feel much better" blog is a total failure, and has only made my want to eat all the junk food in the house (but I won't because all the chocolate and sugary, salty junk food belongs to my wonderful mother because I decided I needed to get back on SW to stop being so fat so I wouldn't get depressed) and I don't think a nice healthy apple would hit the spot...maybe a touch of trash tv will whisk me off and the sandman will appear...but what will prob happen is I will turn the TV on, Roy will come out from the bedroom and ask what is wrong, I will tell him to go to sleep because he needs to ace his fab interview tomorrow (he has one too) and I will sit here scratching my bug bites until it is time to leave for my interview feeling more like a zombie and sub consciously blow the interview anyway.....there's my 2.49am fighting spirit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)