Catching up...and a "real" look at first time home buying.

I am not gonna spend too much time on the catching up, most of my readers are Facebook friends, so you know that I we have obtained two more dogs

I found the bigger one on the right (Capone) along the road, and the smaller one on the left (Gotti) was re-homed with us due to a lack of time his previous owner had to work with him and she decided it was probably in his best interest  to  come live his days out where he could be a dog and be bad,...WELCOME TO SHARPE ESTATES.  Dillinger is still holding it down as the most awesome and well-travelled dog to ever walk this earth, albeit a little but slower but still holding it down like a boss.

We also bought a house...a little house...an awesome house..

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This little house is waaaaay out on the border or Perry County and Juniata County...literally, our mailbox is in Millerstown, however the house ACTUALLY sits in the Evendale/Richfield...yeah try and digest that a little bit.  We have one bedroom, and a huge bathroom.    We def bought this house with our hearts and necessarily our brains.  So I thought I would type up a little house buying guide that you might not find out MSN anytime soon.

1.  DO YOUR RESEARCH- honestly, do it, read everything you can on house buying, financing a house, fixing a house, who in the area can fix a house (if you or your spouse can't fix it), what your neighbors are like...don't be afraid of bad  news, hey at least you will know before you end up in a house you hate with neighbors you don't like.

2.  Just because you can afford a 6 bedroom house, doesn't mean you need a 6 bedroom house-  I bought a small house, I had the fore sight to think about who was cleaing it (me), who was paying to heat and cool it (me), who was paying to fix it (me).....you might have big dreams of a workout room, a steam room, a library, or a billiards room.  Just remember all those rooms need maintained in some capacity and if you aren't planning on having a family the size of the Duggars, then just consider what you will really need and can afford now and 10 years from now.

3.  Please know that home inspections are not worth your money-  The sad fact is you still need to get one mostly for insurance and appraisal purposes.   Our home inspection guy must of worn an eye patch on each of his eyes when he came out to look at our house, because he missed the 90ft garage monstrosity that sits beside our house, although it looks new it has some SERIOUS structural flaws. He did find a non-existent leak under our kitchen sink, Go Figure.    Also white paint and beadboard hides a lot of flaws.  If something looks strange or feels strange, ring the dinner bell about it.  I thought I saw a wet patch on our bathroom ceiling the very first day we saw it , on the next visit the ceiling was painted because "there was a leak but is now fixed so the white paint was just to get rid of the stain"  BS, they just painted it white and left us the problem to fix.  My best advice is to get a plumber, an electrician, and a general contractor to come out and look at the house you want to buy and let them tell you the ugly truth about what you are about to drop 30 years worth of hard earned cash on.  We didn't do this (yes I know my brother is the plumber of awesomeness) but we didn't have a whole lot of time to get him out to look nor did we really want to hear the bad news he might of told us.  Don't worry we are paying for that decision now.

4.  Save a down payment and then save another $5,000-  Houses are expensive, fixing houses are expensive, furnishing a house is expensive...you see where I am going with this.  Be prepared.

5.  Figure out how scary you want your monthly bills to be-   The best financial advice I got in terms of what size of mortgage I wanted was from Suze Orman, although most of the time I find her a stuck up bee-hive,  the fact is she does know her ish.  Her strategy is that if you think you can afford let's say $1200 a month mortgage bill, start saving that each month on top of all your bills you have now, if you can't afford it no harm and at least you know before you make a huge mistake.. If you can afford it weeheey you have your down payment ready in a few months.  I did this, and found out that in fact I could not afford the mortgage I thought I could and still eat . I had a pretty good chunk of our down payment by the time I found out so it was a good lesson to learn.  Don't kill yourself financially for a house or property that you KNOW you can't afford, I am sure that would really suck.

6.  Start to make friends with people with skills-  Start befriending plumbers, electricians and anyone handy...make them your friends, you will thank me later.

7.  Love the place you eventually get-  When things go wrong houses suck and you hate them.  Just know things can be fixed, extensions can be added, garages can spontaneously combust...home is where the heart is..


There is seriously a million other things I could write but I will let you with these few ditties.


I am back!


I am no

I love the delete button!

I had a whole other blog written, edited it over 3 days, was just about to hit the publish button, contemplated a few more days and thought...it was just too much crazy to reveal about me in one post and I deleted the whole thing...it was pretty cathartic and brought me the closure the crazy ruined me needed...  Sorry to those of you that were looking forward to reading all my actual documented psychotic episodes.

So not too much has been different with me, apart from living in a bizarro world where I feel like I am watching myself try and navigate through a sea of people that are clearly operating with a different set of goals/morals.  I try  to live by my word if I say I am going to be somewhere I, apart from sickness or natural disaster, am there and a half hour early.  If something happens to a friend I try not to one up their experience with mine, yes I do recount a smiliar experience but I try and make my experience more grand and fantastic. Other people do not seem to operate under this same moral guideline, they have to one-up everyone all the time and their experience is always MORE then everyone elses.  I also try to be who I am at all times, I hope that those of you that know me agree.  I don't try and act street-tough and then turn around and be an innocent country bumpkin and in the next second I am a career mogal and then leave the room  acting as though this is my first job and I don't know what to do.  I try and be honest but I know I hava a temper and I know I shut people out.  I find it hard to look a dishonest person in the eye and I find it even harder to take anything that comes out of their mouth with any amount of credit.   I have been looking around at people that I am around everyday and I am finding it very difficult to not get sucked into all the drama and I feel I am dragging others in the black funnel of shit with me.    I don't know how to shut it off and still function without putting the iron curtain up, I want to see the good in people but as soon as my trust is broken...it's pretty much game over.  I just feel like we are all a row of fake houses and behind the facade we are all trying to hold the picture of our pretty houses up...while I am in a tent saying..."what's the point"-----anyone understand that?  I dont!

My 31-soon-to-be-32-year-old crisis is in full swing, I am questioning myself everyday whether I am happy, whether I am/have made the correct decisions in my life, whether I am where I am supposed to be not just where I "think" I should be.  There are things I am unhappy or unsure about, I don't know if moving back from the UK was exactly the right decision but I am at a point where I can't change it now even if I wanted to.  I question the job I have, it is a good paycheck (well a steady one at least) but it is a huge corporate machine that will chew me up and spit me out and consume more like me.....it is scary.  I like to think I am corporate hard but maybe I am not that hard.  I seem to be doing well at my job and I enjoy the challenges of the work but this place really encourages my workaholism and I find the 3 hrs I spend in the car coupled with the 11.5 hours I usually work  make me crave more work and less time at home, because I can make more money that way and I will be happier right???  Also it leads to my over eating, I feel like I work all this time I should enjoy the fruits of my labor with a trip to sheetz or somewhere else yummy.  I don't smoke my stress away, and I usually don't drink my stress away...I don't have time to sleep or exercise my stress away so I eat it all....and that is an excuse. I know it...

So onto the good news, WE ARE PRE-APPROVED FOR A MORTGAGE!  We just found out and have been like squeally teenagers ever since...and I am also starting to freak about how we are going to afford it all. I know everyone goes through this, but this is a huge huge financial decision and wow now that it is i real I might be a little gun shy.  I don't want to buy the wrong house, a too expensive house, a house with huge structual problems, a house that isn't close enough to either of our work places or a house that we can afford but just isn't right for us.  Plus I get terrible buyers remorse for even little things, so it will prob take me 100 years to not feel guilty about this purchase.

That is about it kids, not too interesting and a little bit whiney for me, but love me or leave me.

My Facebook Rant!!

Please note before you read this and un-friend me, or text me nasty things....this wasn't directed at any one person, it is my personal opinion and I that is my story and I am sticking to it.

Ok here goes...I have been struggling a lot lately (and I don't mean struggling as in missing meals, and screaming "Whhhhhhhhhyyy" in the shower)  with my annoyance with Facebook, my question is can you be friends in real life but not on Facebook.   I have unfriended a few people on Facebook in the last few months that I still feel like we are friends in real-life.  I have exercised my right to unfriend for a few reasons, either your profuse use of swearing, my inability to literally understand what you are trying to say (sometimes just looks like random words you typed into your status), people posting nothing but song lyrics and inspirational messages, and finally dead baby pictures.  So let's address the last issue...

I can only apoligize to those people who have lost children, I know this doesn't mean much coming from someone who is a self-proclaimed unliker of children.  I am truly sorry that you went through that traumatic event, on the other hand haven't we all known tragedy?  I know that I won't have Dillinger, Capone, Roy, or my parents forever, in saying that, when they pass, I will not be posting pictures of their dead bodies in different positions and in different clothing for everyone to share in my grief with me EVERY DAY OF OUR BLEEDING LIVES!  I hate to say it but this isn't an isolated incident, I have seen this scenario of dead baby picture posting from loads of different ladies.  I can not post something humrous back to your humorous status while staring at the picture of your dead child/children.  PLEASE STOP POSTING THEM!  Again I am sorry for your loss, but honestly those pictures (in my opinion) are best displayed in a closed photo album.

Another thing that makes me shake my head in disbelievement is when people post pictures, statuses, etc...about how drunk they were...and then call off to work the next day for a toe infection, brain hemorrage, etc or the victim of said mysterious illness that is sooo sick that they can't come to work and sit in a chair and push buttons all day...posts pictures of themselves looking healthy and duck faced while they are not at work... HONESTLY  I didn't think there was such a lack of common sense here.  Honestly if I feel the need to not go to work...I am usually so sick that picking up the phone is an effort let alone take a "sexy" pose of myself looking relatively not illl.  Believe me if I dared take a pic of myself and post it while being ill.....you would be ill yourself...it isn't pretty and not something I want to share with my husband let alone Facebook land.    You know just saying.

Finally please, I know you might being having a rough patch in life, but the constant obsessing and asking God "Why?" on Facebook for the last 6 months is getting old.  I might have been guilty of this so I know this is completly hypocrtical....but I like to think I built a bridge and got over it.  I can only say that it is time to get over the boyfriend,girlfriend that wronged you, your animal that has passed, the grandma that has died. the kids you don't like....and quit posting the song lyrics to "Wind Beneath my Wings"....

What I did like was when the elections were raging over here and the fab stuff people were posting, either for or against my choice, it proves we aren't all the same and we all have our own opionion still.  I hate my addiction to FB, but I do love the connection it gives us all to each other...sometimes though people abuse that connection...it all makes the world turn.

God Bless

I only blog when I am in a mood.

I am in a mood, in a funk....mad at myself, mad at the world and just mad in both the crazy and angry sense.  I have no one to blame for this mood but myself, although Mom and the husband get shut out just the same because I resort to the silent treatment when I am in a mood.  I have inherited the utilization of the silent treatment from my father and I don't mean to brag...but I am DAYUM good at it.  The silent treatment allows me to think everything from worst case scenario (melt down of the earth) to the "it will be ok" scenario...and I get annoyed when people want me to interact with them when I am in the "silent treatment mode".  What has me in this state....to be honest...well I am not sure, I mean there is stuff I am dealing with in my life , but really aren't we all?  I think the thing that is bothering me the most is I am seeking normalcy in my life...something that was normal 10 years ago and is normal now....something that I can still claim as my own..my go to thing...but I don't have that.  I miss my old normal life.  I miss feeling comfortable in my skin...I miss having a permanent address and a routine.  I gave all this up when I moved away and got  married and I never really got this back.  This "life on hold thing" has been going on since 2005!!  6 long years of life being on hold is wearing me down, however now that I am only months away from finally settling down and getting some sense of normalcy back I am longing and yearning for it...and it is frustrating me that I can not have it RIGHT NOW...and now it might be put back even further due to finances  (I know)!

UGH UGH  COME ON ALREADY!!  It is time to settle down and live on my own with my husband and animals and get my own things and and be in my own space without other peoples things and mess about..if it is our mess I can clean it up...or throw it away..not just put up with it because it is other peoples things and I won't be in THEIR house...I will be in MY HOUSE..and if I wanted to strut around butt nekkid and fart I could because I am paying the bills and if the table was loaded up with crap and bills and empty boxes and junk bought at the dollar store or the "Seen it on TV' aisle I could take my arm and swipe all that junk in the garbage....because it would be mine and I HATE CLUTTER!  If the fridge was a mess (which it wouldn't be cause I am a bit of a neat freak) it wouldn't  matter cause it would be my mess....I think you get the point here and where I am going with this.
 I am hoping that once things settle down at home maybe I can finally get more comfortable at work...maybe...or maybe in the end I will have enough confidence in my abilities and  do something that makes me insanely happy, that I rock at, and that will pay be a handsome fee...or maybe I will love my job so much that I rock that and they promote me to CEO.  Or just maybe I will stop soothing myself with junk food and I will shut the computer/tv off and get off my fat ass and go get healthy....who knows.

Please dont' read this as I am not happy or that I don't feel blessed because I do...I know that everyday I have a safe warm place to lay my head down each night....I also know that I have enough food to see me through till next year and that I don't have the most amazing friends, family and above all God that  will always have my back...but sometimes...you know things just get to you.

I am back

I am back to blogging after a bit of a forced break, our laptop that we brought from the UK died about 3 weeks ago, we had it to the computer Dr, who tried everything to bring it back to life but to no avail.  My feeling is that we used the adaptor from the UK a bit longer then we should have and it fried the mother board,but hey ho it happens.  I am now writing to you from our new netbook, which is ok.  I am not much of a techy and my buyers remorse goes into overload when I go to places like Best Buy or even the techy section of Wal-mart.  However racing home to get to the library one night a week to monitor bank accounts and bill payments and Skype with all my buddies in two countries isn't ideal, so off we went to Best Buy on Saturday and I whipped around (literally jogged) around the laptop section and ruled out anything above the $400 range (I know the geek squad out there is head slapping at the moment and screaming WHYYYYY you can't put a price on 3,00,000, megs of ram, or some techy crap like that).  We had it narrowed down between 3 netbooks (cause they were the cheapest) that we liked and headed off to Staples to compare prices...when walking into Staples I got my hopes up because they were having a technology clearence.....CLEARENCE MY BACKSIDE...I don't know what they were originally priced at but they had nothing under $700.  I walked out Staples yelling "YO MOMMA" and strutting back to Best Buy.  Where we purchased the netbook I am on and an external cd drive...and that is that..you thoroughly bored yet?  I sure am.

So I finally got to get back to becoming a future farmers wife, well as close I can get living in-town.  Saturday I started my laudry ritual, cleaned the kitchen, and was contemplating mowing the grass (hopefully for the last time this year),but I didn't want to wake my Mom up (she works nights).  So just as I sat down to figure out something to do with my Saturday (hubby works every weekend so I have my weekends to myself, which is bitter sweet).  Just as I was sitting down with my coffee Mom got up and took her dog to the groomers, I ran out to the shed, hopped on the John Deere,it took a bit to fire it up but I got it there, and started cutting the grass.  Mowing is one of my favorite things to do, I always think about things, dream about my own grass that I hope to be cutting in the near future, and I always set myself a side project for when I am done mowing the grass, like weeding the front beds or tidying up the dog grave that we have near the pool.  I was contemplating taking on this part of the yard we call the jungle, my Mom's house (don't judge, yes I live with my Mom at the moment) sits on an old greenhouse/garden center site.  Her pool house is the furnace room of one of the green houses and there is 2 other buildings.  Between the pool house and another random building that,  to be honest I couldn't tell you what it has in anymore, there is a patch of ground that has become overgrown and jungle like...we usually throw the dead animals that find their way into the pool in there, and the dogs like to explore in the jungle..and in the summer it has plenty of wonderful poison ivy to ruin your summer.  Well, just as I was getting the brill idea of going in there on my own and hacking down the trees and digging up the roots and basically getting in there and making it something a bit more functional the landscaping guy I had asked to hack it down showed up.  Which made me yell "YEAH!!" a bit too loud (I was yelling over the sound of the lawn mower and "Big Girls" by Mika pounding in my ears).  So the jungle has mostly been hacked down..I am hoping he comes back to finish the job (as I don't think it looks done), however if he doesn't it is now to a point where I could probably tackle it myself.  While the landscaping guy was hacking the jungle down, I weeded out the left side of the front beds and the sides and half of the center front bed.  I went into the house to make sure the dog weren't killing each other or using the house as their toilet (not my angels), thankfully they weren't doing either, they were sunning themselves in the sun spots on the carpet.  I thought it was only about 11.30a at that point but I was having so much fun being a green thumb that it was actually 1.40p and I had to meet Roy at 2.30p and I had some other errands to run in between...eeek.  All this outside work really inspires me and makes me want my own place so much more.  I can not wait until I have animals to feed and gardens of my own to weed.  However that makes me think of all the things I have to buy to keep my grounds looking fab, and that makes me hyperventilate a little.

The house hunt continues for us, we have found a few more houses that look really interesting, however as it gets closer to calling the mortgage advisor I am starting to feel like they are gonna laugh me outta the building.  We don't have that much of a down payment and we have only been in the US for about 5 months and we have been working here even less, however they told us to get Roy a credit card and call them when we get the 3rd bill paid...it can't be that easy surely.  I am trying not to doubt, and I am trying to be positive but it does get hard thinking of all the things we need to get  to just live in anything bigger then a tent.

Work has been going a bit better, however I still feel like I am getting fired every five seconds and I feel more like I am pretending rather than informing people (as is part of my job) when I am completing my work day.

I still feel really blessed to be living this life, and I feel that I am finding my spirituality and my way back to God...I think he is bringng a lot of attention to things in my life that I need to change...sometimes I make an effort to change those things and sometimes I get swept up into the world, either way his patient love chips aways at me.

Interesting reading.

So I just figured out how to see how people are finding my blog online...and wow the results are a tad scary like someone found me by googling "sex in farmers" and another came via stopa cheater.com....must keep my eye on my stats a bit closer, if only for sheer entertainment.

So what has been going on with me?  Not a whole lot to be honest, well not a whole lot that I am wanting to share with the individuals looking at my blog by googling "sex in farmers". Our housing sitch remains the same, living with Mom and saving for a house, we have found loads of houses we would buy tomorrow but we are waiting and doing this the right way so Roy and I both can be  brought down financially should we fail at homeownership.  It looks like we only have about another 2 months to wait and then the ball can roll forward again.

Work is terrifying, I can't say a whole lot on the subject.  I am just really finding it difficult to enter in a system the times I get up to go pee, it just happens, I drink a lot and in turn that produces urine, which for the comfort of my co-workers and for myself I would like to go relieve myself in the bathroom...well I can go to the bathroom, I just have to let big brother know.  I am also struggling with only 1/2 hour lunches, I feel like I run down to the cafeteria throw the food at my face and whatever gets in my mouth is my lunch for the day before I have to return back to my desk.  PLEASE don't read this as my ungratefullness of having a job, I am just finding it hard to get used to.  I also feel like I am in one of those naked dreams, where I am running around in a constant state of paranoia and others are just plodding on without a care in the world....I feel like I have to stop people and say "hey I am freaking out...why aren't you?"...you know like in the naked dream where you have to tell people you are naked.  I know I will probably get used to it and all that good stuff but 6 weeks of being afraid that I will get zapped by big brother watching me makes me really tired when I get home, and OH SOOO thankful for the furry babies that just want me for walking/ball throwing/feeding/snuggling duties.

Roy and I celebrate 6 years of wedded bliss tomorrow, which makes today the day of dread.  I am handeling year 6 a lot differently then I have handeled previous years.  I actually cried today, not just reminiced and was sad, but cried like a unstoppable sob cry (of course when no one was looking), I would like to say that I am strong and I hide this from Roy, but I am not that girl, I am sad and he needs to know that I am there with him in his sadness.  I miss his mother, I didn't know her long but she was MAGICAL...I can't even describe it.  She just had a way about her that I haven't seen in anyone since, and I know some BRILLIANT people.  I miss her today, I was angry with her for at least 3 years...but today I miss her.  I wonder if she would be proud of us for how our marriage has lasted and been strong.  I wonder if she would be bitter about us moving or if she would have encouraged us to go get the things we want out of life.  Roy thinks she would have kicked us out of the house sooner, not in the get-out-of-my-house-spongers kind of way but more of a ...it is time for the birdies to fly and get out of the nest type of way...which I would have appreciated.

I think my sadness is also linked to me missing my UK life, I miss my friends and my old job (as stressful as it was).  I miss the simplicity of life there.  However I do not miss a lot of things about it there either, I don't miss the feral children, and paying for fricking everything, the lack of community spirit and the HUUUUUGGGGEEE gap between the classes.  I would move back I think, although Roy says no and he is finally happy where we are...he is right...when I lived there I wanted to be here and when I am here I want to be there...it is a cross I will have to carry.

Anywho, I am off to eat my salad and maybe fold some laundry...then it is a financial pow-wow to figure out how I am gonna be a farmers wife.

Getting back to the basics.

The blogging has fallen by the waysid=\ze I know, I am just settling into working life again, and trying to get a rythm with my schedule, Roy's schedule and my furry babies schedules.  I am enjoying each step along the way.  I  have so much to write about but I know by the time I have written this I won't even of discussed half of it, but here goes.

So work is going well, I had worried about being just a number in the huge corporation in which I work for, and I guess to some deparments I am, but I have managed to find a core group of ladies that I am having a great time getting to know.   The work is challening and interesting and I am enjoying the learning process (kinda) but at the same time I am VERY nervous about the time when training is over and I am let loose to do the job I will have trained for 4 weeks to do.  My trainer and work friends say that I am going to do fine, but I am just not the confident, I know eventually I will get there and it will all be old hat and familiar but I am nervous for the time that it will be new, scary, and I will annoy my supervisor with my billion questions.

I have signed up with my Mom to teach 5th and 6th grade Sunday school.  The clip board has been passed around church a few times asking for volunteers, and it has weighed on my heart to get more involved in making our church a success.  I talked to Mom about it because I am a little worried that these 5th and 6th graders won't learn from me or that they will see right through my facade because my big sercret is that they prob do know more then me and we will be learning together.   Mom said she would help and we would do teach and it wouldn't be such a burden,  I just hope I do a good job. I start in December so have till then to get myself prepared.

Hmm what else....I am trying to get myself back to losing weight...I know I know broken record and all, but I am taking it in slow steps.  I am just trying to be more conscious about what I am putting in my body and trying to make better decisions, but I do need those times when I can just eat some pizza.  Taking the dogs out all the time, and going different places with them, and letting them run their pent up energy out has also afforded me the luxury of allowing me to get some exercise in and enjoying it.  I don't want to scarifice time with my "family" to go to a gym and do something I hate, when I can come home and be with the people/dogs I love most in my life and get all of us out and moving.

Now back to the good stuff, Roy and I have started to look for a house, if the mortgage advisor has given us correct information Roy and I have only 3 months to wait until we are pre-approved for a mortgage.  I know where I want to be in terms of price wise, but until we get that official piece of paperwork we are drawing up a list of the things we want in a house/property.  Although I would love to, I think that building is out of our budget, so we are looking for an established home (I think).  We have been scouring the internet for what is on the market at the moment and have driven by and up to a few houses, last Sunday we actually drove up to a property that is high on our list and the owner was so kind and showed us around.  I am excited about being this close to being a homeowner and also frustrated that I am not already a homeowner.  Roy and I have been going into local consignment shops, thrift stores, antique furniture, flea markets, yard sales, and local boutiques to see what is out there in terms of furnishing our house.  I am THOROUGHLY enjoying this process, it is true what they say one mans junk is another mans treasure (it might just need a little spray paint...HA HA).  We have also been taking "research trips" to Lowes and Home Depot, which Roy and I very much enjoy and thankfully we are both pretty much on the same wave length in terms of what we like, we can pretty much find a happy medium when doing out fantasy house stuff shopping.

Well I am off out with my sexy hubby to take our furry babies on a hike!

God Bless all who read this.

Kristen